The change

Things change. Constantly. I never thought this part of my life would ever be so vulnerable. I simply supposed that some things just don`t change. That some things that two people imagine and believe in will always be sacred and trusted. That was childish of me to think. And always knew it was somehow, I just never met the perfect situation to confront it until now.
I feel fine. I do my stuff. I am optimistic or at least try to be about anything that comes to my mind. I am improving my neck-rash from my violin. I am reading. I`ve been listening to awesome shit like Mahler - 2nd Symphony, a lot of Bartok, Erik Truffaz, Pinkfloyd (all the creamy stuff). Thinking. Breathing. Smiling. I am fine.
New skin, new face, new smell, new breath, eyes, voice, thoughts... I would lie if I would say I cannot feel its warmth and again-i would lie if i would say i don`t enjoy them.. I feel her in so many ways but the scents, the thoughts, the warmth all leave my soul in a cold loneliness.
I want a chance to try. To try being what we were meant to be.
A deep breath between two cigarettes and three sounds..
I am fine :)