Sepia days

Ever oscillating. Temporary happiness, momentary madness, nighttime darkness, optimistic depression, pessimistic truth-quests of my mind.

Coffee, rain, quartet, cigarettes, cold, coffee, music, footsteps, cigarette, grey people, white people, red people, black people - conversate, turn back, leave - coffee, cigarettes, warmth, green people - love, silence, two wide shut eyes, disgust, turn back, leave - motionless walking, half an hour, fury, red wine, smile, cigarettes, strings, fingers, artificial warmth - turn back, leave - words, sounds, skin patches, dark silence - -
swallow; exhale; sip; inhale . .

We live our days by our own prefferrence centering it around our own habbits and ritualistic actions.

Solitude - I am my closest friend; I am the center of every thought and action; Each place I stop, my solitude anchors me there; "Each sentence begins with an I "; 'friends' are my mere tools of passing of my time; Each plan is perfect and is affected at some level by my self-motivation; Other people`s interference just causes uncertainty so I turn back to my own dialogues; -=My solitude equals certainty; certainty equals my safety=-

Two - We are two; We may be or simply just think we are each other`s centers of thoughts and actions; Each place we stop our love may anchor us there or though our feet may lead us in different directions; Our interference in words and actions may just cause confusion; Self-motivation shifts to expectations based on our own knowledge about ourselves; We may feel unequal, unappreciated, unloved.. ; -=Our companion equals uncertainty; uncertainty equals distrust and chaos; your lies equal leaving me outside in the windy cold rain anchored to my memories of you=- Love - Love is . . Love is not; I know, you know, he knows, they know, she knows, we know; Love is not "Solitude" nor "Two".

Please show me what it is . . or let me walk back to my bitter-cosy solitude .